


Peeta and I

by lulubee1234



Category: Hunger Games (2012) RPF, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:08:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulubee1234/pseuds/lulubee1234
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was eleven years old when I fell in love with Lord Peter, the youngest son of the Duke of Baker. He took my heart and has yet to return it... A historical AU tale of the star crossed lovers in England.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We were one and ten

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone! Thanks for you patience with me and my lack of new stories as I edit my brains out with my "real" novel. I miss you guys and the whole fandom but I'm glad I get to see all of the latest and greatest you are all cranking out! Anyways, This is my historical AU vic that I did for s2sl (stories to save lives) and I am now opening it up to the rest of the fandom! This will be a little more of an extended story than it was for s2sl so those who read it the first time around be sure to stick around! Anyways, without further ado, enjoy!

I was eleven years old when I fell in love with Lord Peter,the youngest son of the Duke of Baker.

He took my heart and has yet to return it...

The frigid winds nipped at my face as I made my way through the cobblestone streets in town. The rain began to seep into my slippers, chilling my toes. They were already threadbare and I had no desire to see my only pair of shoes set to ruin.

"I'm going to catch my death if I remain out here much longer." I mumbled to myself.

The journey to town was not very long but the weather made the routine task harrowing. I crossed the street, taking care to avoid the grooves and cracks that were slowly turning to puddles. The clopping of hooves brought my head out from beneath my hood. A horse let out a high-pitched whinny as it rounded the bend, pulling a carriage behind it much faster than was prudent for this weather. My focus was on the carriage and not my footing. My usually graceful steps failed and my toe caught on a jagged bit of rock in the road. I fell to the muddy floor. My basket soared from my arm and into the center of the street. The precious food parcels that I had bartered for rolled into the dirt. A sharp cry escaped my throat. The last of my coins now had gone to waste. I had nothing. The horse was pulled to a sharp stop and he reared back his powerful body in surprise. I closed my eyes. I hoped the blow would be quick. But nothing occurred. A carriage door opened and heavy feet jumped to the muddy ground.

"Miss, I am so sorry. Have you been harmed?" a male voice asked. I looked into the bright blue eyes of Lord Peter, the youngest brother to the Duke of Baker. I had only met him on one occasion but I recognized his yellow locks and his strong jaw.

"I-" I looked down at my dress. The hem was torn and the faded green cotton was covered with mud. My breath was harsh and my un-corseted frame was made visible by the soaked fabric. My cheeks heated and I had the unavoidable desire to run. I clamored to my feet ignoring his proffered hand. I stood quickly but let out a gasp of pain as I placed pressure on my right ankle.

"You're injured. Please allow me to assist you-"

"I'm quite well, I assure you." I attempted to limp from the center of the road but his hand on my arm detained me.

"Please Ms. Everdeen," Peter said. "Do not cause yourself further harm. I insist you join me in my carriage."

"Master Peter, we must be getting home before tea. We do not wish to anger the Duchess." Peter's Tutor emerged from the carriage and rushed to his side. The stout man had his shoulders hunched and held a hand above his triangle hat as though he was attempting to keep the silly thing dry.

Peter turned towards me. "Please come with me, Katniss."

The way he spoke my name was a poem, beautiful and pleading. It was the use of my Christian name that allowed me to surrender my pride and accompany him to his carriage. He placed a hand at the center of my back and another at my elbow. He guided me slowly taking a large amount of my weight. My chilled body warmed under his hands.

"Watch your step," he said. He assisted me into the carriage's black lacquered open door.

I gasped upon entering. It was pristine. The velvet cushion and leather trimmed details would be ruined beneath my muddy clothing. I couldn't possibly soil something as fine as the family carriage of the Duke of Baker. Peter entered behind me and immediately sat. He gestured for me to do the same. The tutor followed us in and closed the door behind us.

"Dear me, what a storm, what a storm, indeed." He gave a shudder that seemed exaggerated for his momentary appearance in this dreadful weather.

"Do pardon me, but may we have your name Miss?"

"I-" was shivering to severely to speak. Peter removed his coat and drew it around my shoulders. I savored the added heat from the dampened coat. It smelled of rain, cinnamon, and something distinctively masculine I could not name.

"Please allow me to make the introductions. Percy this is the honourable Katniss Everdeen, Daughter of the late Viscount of Seam. Ms. Everdeen, please allow me to introduce my tutor, Mister Perseus Beetee."

"P-Pleasure." I shivered.

"Percy, we are to escort Ms. Everdeen home immediately," Peter said to him. Percy turned around and opened the latch to have a word with the driver. "For your feet." Peter moved a large urn closer to me and I hesitantly placed my feet upon it. Heat instantly soothed them. They stung from the bitter cold slippers.

"Thank you, my Lord." I whispered. His smile and his eyes quickly shifted to Percy whose attention was still on the driver.

He placed his foot on the warmer beside mine and said, "Please, do call me Peter."

"Very well, Peter." I said clutching his warm coat tighter around me. "My name is Katniss."

"I know who you are." He blushed and looked at our intertwined feet. "I have always known who you are."

The carriage came to a halt when it reached the drive at Seam House. The footman opened the door and assisted me with my descent.

"Thank you for your kindness, my Lord. I am sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused." I said.

"The gratitude is misplaced, as it was I who was fortunate to receive your company. As for apologies, please accept this as a token of my apology for causing you to lose your valuables." The covered basket he held in his arms was twice the size mine had been and far more valuable.

"I couldn't-"

"But you must. I command it." He winked at me. My nostrils flared as I kept my lips from widening into a smile. I took the basket reluctantly and then moved swiftly to the covered entryway. I turned and gave a small curtsy as I met his eyes. He took in a deep breath and quickly alighted from the coach.

"What-?" I began. He was in front of me in the blink of an eye. He put a hand in his pocket and extracted a bright dandelion. He extended his hand towards me.

"It's not much but I hope it will make you smile," he said.

"It's lovely."

"May I... May I come to call on you? Ms. Everdeen?"

"Of course. Are you permitted?"

"With your blessing, I am."

"Very well." I smiled.

"I shall see you soon." He turned and bounded back up the steps. He waved just as the footmen shut the door. I watched the carriage as it drove off down the drive and out the gates. I wiped my feet on the threshold and went inside. The smile had not left my face. I put down the covered basket and removed my coat and slippers. I swiftly moved to the sitting room and warmed my feet by the fire. Mother was on the settee still dozing.

"Katniss, you're back!" Prim came dashing down the stairs. It's rug frayed at the edges.

"Did you manage to get the grocer to extend our account?"

"Not by much, little duck, but-" I turned my head to look at her. She was going through the covered basket.

"My goodness, Katniss! This is a feast! However did you manage?" She held a beautiful fresh loaf of bread in her hands and was pulling out all types of cured meats, jams, and jellies as well. A hand covered my mouth as I slowly moved towards her. There must have been some mistake. This was a fortune in fine cuisine. It would also keep us fed for a month. I took the basket in my arms and looked through its contents. With the dandelion in one hand and the basket of provisions in the other I finally felt something come alive inside of me. It was a feeling I had not born witness to since my father's death.

It was hope.


	2. We were Three and Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was three and ten when I made my feelings known to Lord Peter, Third son of the Duke of Baker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! As promised here is the next installment of Peeta and I! I hope you all enjoy! A very special thanks to Lbug84 for being a steadfast beta. This is an excerpt that is newly added to the story and was not part of S2SL. Enjoy!

Part II

I was three and ten when I made my feelings known to Lord Peter, Third son of the Duke of Baker.

It was hot. Uncommonly so for Hampshire. I suppose that since it was August I should not have been overly surprised. I was walking home swinging my straw bonnet from it's green ribbons while enjoying the warm sun shining down on my face. I rarely got the chance to go about without my hat. It was considered uncouth for young ladies to walk with the sun on their skin. Heaven forbid we should have bronzed skin or worse, a freckle. It did not much matter to me as I would never have the snow-white skin of my sister or the other girls in town. The wind picked up and blew my solitary braid back over my shoulder. I felt a tug and startled, quickly turning and smacking my bonnet at the intruder.

Peeta's laughter rang out as his arms rose in defense. "It's just me!" he cried. A smile spread wide across his face. My own grin appeared upon seeing him.

"You gave me a fright." I said, turning to walk beside him.

"Well my sincerest apologies than, Miss Katniss."

"You are not forgiven," I said with a mock frown.

Peeta's hand went up to his heart. "You wound me, my lady. What can I do to prove my sincerity?"

"You may accompany me home."

"I was hoping you would say that," he said, offering a bent arm to my person. With a smile remaining on my face I placed my arm in the crook of his elbow as we continued to walk down the lane. Over the past two years, Peeta and I had become the best of friends. There wasn't a single moment when our time was our own that we did not spend in each other's company. The months he would soon be spending at Eton would be agony. He was set to leave for school at the end of summer holiday in precisely two weeks. The knowledge filled me with anxiety and kept me awake at night. I found myself marking my calendar with his holiday schedule from school counting the maximum amount of days that I would get to see him. That is, if he would return here to Hampshire and forego time with his family. 104 days to be precise. That was if he spent every moment in my presence.

"Are you excited about beginning Eton?" I asked, attempting to keep an air of conversation to the question and not reveal my inner turmoil.

His eyes edged to the side to take in my face. I worked valiantly to keep it clear of expression. "I suppose…"

I found his reply to be less than satisfactory. It gave me little insight of the nature of his true feelings, his deeper feelings. For if I was honest with myself, that was what was at the heart of my turmoil. My unexpressed feelings toward Lord Peter were consuming me.

"Your departure is forthcoming. Have your trunks been packed?"

"Not yet. My tutor and I have spoken at length regarding the process. I believe it would be unwise to take more than one trunk upon arrival as I will be returning to Baker Hall in a matter of months for the Harvest Festival." I found his words to be curious, his family usually spent the harvest festival in town.

"Why will you not be visiting in London?" I asked, bringing myself to voice the question that was always at the forefront of my mind whenever he was near.

He smiled at the ground and kicked a pebble. "I think you know, Katniss."

"I know you're not particularly close with your family…"

As the youngest son, the third son to be exact, there was little use for Peeta in the eyes of his family. He was neither "the heir nor the spare," and he believes he would not have been conceived at all were it not for his mother's desperate wish for a daughter. His brothers were older than he and had already done much of their growing up together. They never felt the need to add Peeta into their play. Of course Peeta would never say this in so many words, but after spending so much time in each others company I was able to piece together the entire tale of his childhood with the words he explicitly refrained from speaking. He did love his father though so he had reason to spend his holiday in London at the Duke's town residence...

"It is not a matter of avoiding my family on holiday. The truth is that something beckons me back home." His cheeks had turned a light shade of pink. "Or rather someone."

I swallowed. "Oh?"

Peeta stopped walking and I was forced to halt as well. We were in a shaded section of the lane, a wide oak spreading its branches and providing solace from the sun. A light breeze blew the stray wisps of hair at the sides of my face that had freed themselves from my braid. I pushed them out of my eyes and tucked them behind my ear.

Peeta cleared his throat. "Katniss, these past two years spent in your company have been…that is to say…"

"Yes, Peeta?"

"Damn it all, Katniss, I do not wish to go to Eton." he addressed the comment to the ground as he kicked a stray pebble with his boot.

"Why-" I began to ask but he rushed on.

"I do not wish to go to Eton because the idea of not spending every waking moment at your side fills me with agony." His eyes were lidded as he slowly looked up at me to view my reaction.

My heart swelled. I needed to rest my hand over it lest it should beat completely out of my chest. "Truly?" I whispered looking up at him.

"Truly." He said, staring deep into my eyes. "I have spoken with my tutor about it, he assures me that I am young and that what I feel for you is a passing fancy. He has told me that I will forget you that there will be other skirts while I'm at Eton, then Oxford, and then on the continent. He says you will forget me and that I will never have a chance at courting you for you will be married before I am free of my schooling. But I cannot accept that Katniss, I-" He threw up his hands in exasperation before turning towards me and taking my hands in his own. "I love you. I am mad for you, I have been since I heard you sing the Valley Hymn in church when we were six years old. These past two years with you have been the best of my life. I can't lose you. I am terrified of leaving and watching you slip through my fingers. I-"

I couldn't take a single moment longer. I stood on my toes and brought my lips to his in an approximation of what I imagined to be a kiss. I pulled away hoping that I had not been to forward with my actions and that, the kiss was something he might have been hoping for and- Peeta stared at me with wide eyes for less than a moment before bringing his face back to mine, wrapping his hands around my cheeks and kissing me as well. I smiled and so did he. I put my hands over my eyes embarrassed by the sheer level of euphoria that coursed through me. Lord Peeta, loved me. Me. Not just that but he had returned my feelings this entire time. I was giddy and let out a shaky laugh.

"It seems that I have a bit of a conundrum. For the past two weeks I have lain awake at night in fear of what our separation would do to our friendship, what would happen once you went to Eton. Now I fear that I shall never get another nights sleep as your sweet words will continue to play in my mind and I will miss you too terribly to ever attempt to silence them in lieu of getting a night's rest."

Peeta's gaze upon me was unwavering but I caught the slight upturn of his lips. "Katniss, do I dare hope that you return my feelings?"

"How could I not? You are everything that is good on this earth, Peeta. I expect there isn't a woman on earth that wouldn't fall madly in love with you. Indeed that was one of my biggest fears. That you would forget me as you feared I would forget you. But I could never forget you, Peeta, never."

He smiled another breathtaking smile and kissed me heartily again on the mouth. Each kiss was better than the last.

"So what is to be done with us?" he asked, rubbing my cheek with his warm fingers.

"I don't know." I was at a complete loss as to what the next course of action could possibly be.

"It is highly unusual to begin a courtship at the age of thirteen, but it is my greatest wish."

"Perhaps if we do not explicitly refer to it as courting it might not seem so unusual." I suggested, with a shrug.

"Not courting, yet still courting?" Peeta asked with a smile. "Something about the idea seems very much like us."

"When shall we begin?" I asked.

"Now?" He arched his brow as he wove his fingers through mine.

"Now sounds lovely." I said, the smile remaining on my face.

We continued our walk down the lane, both of us with a new greater reason to smile. I would enjoy they next two weeks of our time together, I told myself. I would see him as often as possible and store up memories of sweet kisses for when he would leave. And he would visit. I understood that now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it I would love to hear from you! Please comment/Kudos and don't forget to follow me on Tumblr at lulubee1234 dot tumblr dot com
> 
> Thanks!


	3. Six and Ten

I was sixteen when I gave my innocence to Lord Peter, Third son of the Duke of Baker. He had become my Peeta that night and I, his Katniss, in every sense of the word. He ruined me for all others. I have yet to regret my decision…

I arrived at the meadow at precisely midnight, as I promised him. The cool spring breeze blew the unbound hairs at the side of my face. I looked around before I entered the narrow line of oak trees that would lead me to the clearing. The moon was a narrow sliver in the night sky. It was a gift. It made it that much easier to sneak about, undetected by prying eyes. A pair of arms grabbed me the moment I left the darkness beneath the trees. A pair of warm lips descended upon mine and I welcomed the kiss, eager to deepen it. Peeta placed both his hands upon my cheeks as he caressed my nose softly with his. Peeta. Prim had given him the nickname, when she was young and still learning to pronounce words properly. He loved it instantly, as it was a name untainted by his family. We'd taken to calling him by it ever since. I was reluctant to stop the kiss and opened my mouth to further deepen it. Peeta let out a moan of pleasure and succumbed to the temptation I offered him. His tongue caressed mine and set a fire through my veins and down to my very soul.

"I missed you." He whispered against my lips.

"As I missed you. May god damn Eton and all other boarding schools." He smiled against my lips. My hand traced his cheek. He winced. I pulled back and assessed his face.

"What is the matter?" I asked. When he took a step back the glow from his lantern cast his face into focus. "She hit you again?" I was instantly angered. His mother had gone too far. I have longed to throttle the woman for quiet some time but, alas, the penalties are rather harsh for assaulting a duchess, even if she is a devil of a woman.

"Please think nothing of it. It was worth it."

"What did she claim you did this time?"

"She did not take well to my suggestion that perhaps an Oxford Education was not necessary for a third son."

My chest grew tight. The University conversation again. "What was her response?"

"She seemed to believe that just because I was too dull witted to be born female as intended, the least I could do was keep up appearances by receiving a proper education."

My eyes closed briefly. I did not wish to talk anymore of Oxford or of his mother. "Well I for one am rather fond of the fact that you are indeed male." I daringly ran my fingers down the center of his body. I drew my hand back just before I reached the front of his pants.

"Minx. How you tease me." He grasped his heart feigning a wound to the chest.

"How you enjoy it," I purred in response.

"I do." He grasped me from behind and wrapped his arms around my body. He placed a sensuous kiss on my neck. We were aligned perfectly and I could feel the evidence of his desire for me against my backside. We had sinned on a few occasions, though never to a point where there could be risk of a pregnancy. Luckily for us, Peeta had two old brothers who were well versed in the art of 'canoodling,' as they referred to it.

"I brought a treat for us." He took my hand and led me over to a spread blanket on the grass. He had with him a bottle of wine and a half a loaf of bread and a pot of honey with him. I adored honey.

"I know you must be hungry," he said as he pulled me down to sit beside him.

"How can you possibly know that?" My stomach growled to refute my argument.

He smiled and said, "Because, my love, you are always hungry."

He dipped a chunk of bread in honey and popped the morsel into my mouth. A drop of honey was left on my lower lip and he kissed it off. He pulled back, still licking his lips, and looking at me as though it was I that was sweet on his tongue and not the honey. The moisture began to pool at my center.

"You are too far away." He said as he pulled me onto his lap. He fed me another bite and kissed me before pulling away. As I chewed he began to unbraid my hair. It was one of his favorite things. When he was finished, he wound his fingers through my hair and brought of my locks to brush against his cheek.

"When will you let me make you my wife?" he asked me again. He pulled me tighter against him and looked up into my eyes.

I smiled and kissed him. "You know it isn't up to me, my love." I spoke softly. He always asked and after my reply his next question was always the same.

"But if it were?"

"If it were up to me I would be your wife now and every day until the end of our days."

His lips found mine in a passionate kiss. It was long and spoke of our love, a love cruel enough to appear at such a young age and only grow stronger in time. A love that was still too young for society to support. Peeta was not yet eighteen and had yet to inherit the small country house which his late father willed to him. I was still sixteen and had no dowry to speak of. We were not an advantageous match in the eyes of society, but one couldn't argue that the third son of a duke and the daughter of a viscount were a tale of forbidden love either. So we had to wait. It was already decided.

Once Peeta inherited his land, we would move to the country to live a comfortable, if modest, life. I was a fair shot and Peeta had a knack for gardening. If Peeta and I were careful we could allow his small inheritance to be invested wisely and live off the income. His mother was our largest obstacle. It was no secret that, in her mind, Peeta was only valuable for one purpose: for marriage to a family of good breeding and strong social connections. Preferably a family that could align her with even more power and influence. My family, while noble, most assuredly did not fit that description.

My father died a few months before I met Peeta. Our situation was so dire that we faced eviction, starvation, and ruin. Peeta was the one who gave me hope. With his insistence, I wrote to my mother's brother, The Earl of White, Lord Abernathy, and prevailed upon him to assist us with our debt to the new Viscount Seam, Cato Billings. Mr. Billings was reportedly my sixth cousin twice removed although we had never met. My Uncle agreed to pay our debt to the Viscount and his family, allowing us to remain in Seam House as tenants. We did not have the proper funds to maintain it, but Seam House was still our home and we were happy to remain there.

"Where have you gone, my darling?" Peeta said as he kissed the side of my head.

"I beg your pardon. I was wool gathering."

"No apologies needed. I am quiet content to hold you like this all night." He rubbed his fingers over my cheek and I closed my eyes as I melted into the warmth of him. When I was in Peeta's arms nothing seemed too large to overcome.

"Would you care to tell me your thoughts?" he asked, placing a kiss on my exposed collarbone.

"I think of you. How much you have helped me. Saved me."

"It is you who have saved me. I had little happiness in my life before you, Katniss. You're my Sun, my moon, and my stars. I measure the days by the next time I get to be in your company." He placed a kiss on my lips.

"Do you believe she will force you to attend Oxford?"

"She forced me to attend Eton and I still managed to outwit her there, have I not?"

Although Peeta did indeed attend Eton, he would often sneak away for extended holidays without the school or his mother's knowledge. When his mother was in London, which was thankfully most of the season, he would stay at his family's country estate. On the rare occasion when his mother was in residence at Baker Castle he would sleep in a guestroom at Seam House or in the stables, depending on the lucidity of my mother.

"But Oxford is even farther than Eton," I complained.

"I will find my way to you. The worst she can do to us is cause delay. Nothing will keep me from you, Katniss. We are meant to be together." He rested his forehead on mine. All of our talk of waiting and delays made me angry. I wanted Peeta. What we had was whole and pure. I did not give a fig for society's opinion. Then why did I uphold their proprieties? I loved him. If I were to give myself to Peeta it would not make me a loose woman or ruined in any way. So why did we resist?

My body began to tilt as Peeta brought us to our sides. Our eyes were level and Peeta brought our mouths together once more. I took his hand in mine and guided it along my body. I brought his hand beneath my skirts.

"Free me?" I begged. He rewarded me with a shy smile. His fingers gently pulled on the strings of my drawers. I craved to be completely unbound in his presence. The thought of us skin to skin was something that I had dreamt of since we had started our exploration of each other over a year ago.

My mouth widened as his warm hand enveloped my bare thigh. His touch infused me with heat and left chills in his wake.

"Peeta… I need... something…please." I writhed against him until he brought his hand to my center.

"I will take care of you, my love. I promise." Peeta's fingertips whispered over my sensitive bud. It teased me and set me afire. "Always ready for me," he whispered with a seductive kiss to my neck. His torture continued as he added more pressure circling everywhere but where I needed him most. I reached for his trousers and placed my palm against his stiffened flesh.

"Please," I moaned. Peeta obliged me. He filled me with his fingers as he brought his thumb directly to the space that makes me cry out in ecstasy. He set a slow and methodical pace that had the waves of pleasure growing inside of me.

"Say my name," he breathed into my ear before gently biting the lobe.

"Peeta," I moaned. His name turned into a prayer. A chant. I repeated it over and over until his name left my lips in a moan of ecstasy as waves of satisfaction crashed over me. I shook as the last vestiges of my release left my body.

"You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen." He kissed my temple as I drifted back down to earth.

"Please. I need you. Please do not make me wait any longer." I whimpered as he placed warm kisses upon my face.

"Katniss, You cannot know how difficult this is for me-"

"Please love. You possess me, heart and soul. I wish for my body to belong to you as well."

"You deserve to be loved properly. With a bed after I've spent hours making love to your every limb, after I've kissed every spot on your body."

"I need you now. Soon you will going to leave me again and I will be alone. Leave me this memory and take with you another piece of me." He kissed me, long and hard. I could feel his excitement upon my thigh and I craved to release him.

"We must be careful."

"I will do whatever you tell me." I replied. Peeta nodded solemnly. This was not merely a romp in the hay for him. We loved each other and the fear of hurting the other was enough to give him pause.

With careful fingers Peeta began to untie the laces at my back. With every newly exposed bit of flesh he would pause to taste me. By the time he had released the last stay, I was ready for him. Every hair on my body was raised in awareness of our proximity. I wished to devour him, to crawl beneath his skin and never leave that wonderful place. His warm hands spread the pieces of the garment farther and farther apart. The night air was refreshing against my heated skin. But the fire burned too strong to be put out by a cool spring evening. I turned to face him and removed my arms from my sleeves allowing the garment to drop. It was not the first time he had seen me but his face still showed the same emotions, awe and desire. He took my mouth with his as his hand reached for my breast. I cried into his mouth as his fingers closed around the peak.

"So beautiful." His voice was quiet. His tone was one reserved only for church. When I told him so he laughed. "Then I will have to worship you."

His mouth moved down my exposed neck to my chest. I cried out when his tongue found the pink flesh of my nipple. He gently suckled and bit down until both of my hands held him to me. When he moved to the other, the process began again. But it was not enough. I needed to feel him. I wanted to give him the love and pleasure he was always so generous to give me.

"Let me feel you," I pleaded.

But, I did not wait for his permission. My hand moved to the bracings on his trousers. I tentatively took a button in my fingers and drew it through the fabric. I repeated the process until his trousers were loose enough for me to gain access. When I took his member in my hand he took a sharp inhale of air. His moan told me everything I needed to know. He wanted this more than I did. I moved my hand up and down his length, the way he had shown me he favours. I loved the feel of him in my hands. I was awed by the smooth skin that felt as though it had been tightened over steel. I wanted to know what he would feel like inside of my body or inside of my mouth. When another moan escaped him, I lowered his trousers until the wet, rounded tip was exposed to my eyes. I hovered over him and took a slow tentative lick of the flesh with my tongue.

"Katniss! Sweet- Holy-" I took his flustered state as a compliment and repeated the action. His hips jutted towards me, as though of there own volition. I opened my mouth wider and enclosed the head inside. "That's- That feels unbelievable." His breathed slowly, in and out in time with my movements. I moved my head lower to take in more of him. When I hollowed my cheeks, he cried out and his hands buried themselves in my hair. I pulled up quickly, instantly nervous of the gesture but his hands stroked my hair and calmed me. When I reached the tip of his shaft again I did not release him. Instead I went back down attempting to fit even more of him inside of me. The low grunts and quiet moan he released had liquid flooding to my entry. I wanted to rub myself against him and allow him to bring us both to fulfillment. He must have felt the same for the next words he spoke were "We must stop if we are to continue." He pulled time close, bringing our faces level once more.

"Did I not understand? I thought you were enjoying-" I began.

"I did enjoy it, immensely. But I do not wish to finish this night before it has begun." He kissed me deeply and I wondered if he was able to taste himself on my tongue.

"I do not wish that either." Acting with a boldness I only felt in his presence, I reached for his shirt and pulled it above his head. He allowed me a full glimpse of his beautiful chest. I ran my fingers over it as he rid himself of his trousers. He assisted me from the dress that had pooled around my waist, and then we rolled, smiling and squeezing until I was on my back and he between my legs. When our flesh aligned, I thought for the first time that this must be what it felt like to stand on the doorsteps to heaven, to be so close to perfection that I am able to feed off of the beauty of it all. His warmth, my warmth, close but not close enough. He drew his hand down and took his member in his hand and guided it along my opening.

"You are sure?" he asked.

"Please Peeta. Yes, I'm sure. Please." I moaned and begged, as his bare hardened flesh sliding along my entry forced my back to arch. My body welcomed him.

He nodded and kissed me passionately pouring his love into the kiss. I opened to him as he pushed inside. The first penetration was immediately foreign to me. The sensation of being stretched took me momentarily from the moment. Peeta moved his lips from mine and began to suck on my pulse point. It elicited a moan from me and my body instinctually took him further. He paused when it felt as though he had reached a barrier.

"This will hurt. But only the first time. I will spend the rest of my life making sure you only ever feel pleasure after this night. I swear it." He kissed me again. Just as I began to lose myself in the kiss and relax in his hold, he pushed through my innocence and with one swift and hard thrust he buried himself to the hilt. I cried out, as much in surprise as from the pain. Peeta stilled above me and caressed my face and my hair. His lips did not cease to kiss my neck and whisper to me.

"You feel like something our of a dream."

I couldn't agree. The ache between my legs had grown into a throbbing pain. Yet, I longed for more. My breath was shallow and my body tense.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No. No, please keep going." He pulled out slightly and pushed again. Although I was sore, a feeling of pleasure swept through me as he repeated the motion. He kissed me harder and I gripped his shoulders with my hands. As he moved, I fell into a wonderful rhythm that soon had me moaning my pleasure and craving something stronger then I could name. It was more than a release. It was a pinnacle of physical love. He hovered above me as we exchanged hard breaths. He looked into my eyes and I knew that this was it. This was everything I had hoped it would be and more. He not only took from me but gave all of himself in return.

"I can't hold on," Peeta groaned. I began to fall into my release just before he pulled away from me and spilled his seed on my stomach. It was hot and although I had seen it before never had I felt it. There was something strangely erotic about touching it.

"I apologize. You felt too wonderful and I could not hold on long enough to-"

I brought my hands to his lips and made a shushing sound. "It was perfect. I cherished every minute of it."

He kissed my lips quickly and then gave me once last peck on my forehead. He leaned behind him and picked up his undergarments before bringing them over to me and delicately wiping himself from my skin. Without the weight of him on top of me the cool night air brought shivers to my skin.

"You are cold."

"A little." My smile was shy and I was curious to its origin. I was not normally a shy person especially not around Peeta.

"I suppose I will simply have to warm you." He laid down beside me once and drew the blanket over us as much as possible. He moved the stray locks from my face and looked deeply into my eyes.

"I will never forget this night. My punishment will be how long I must wait until I can have you again."

"That is punishment for us both."

"Then you shall allow me to prove myself?"

"As many times as it takes." I bit my lip. He seemed surprise by my outburst.

"That is it you minx." I squealed as he tickled me beneath the moonlight.

'Never have I been this happy." I thought in that moment. 'And the best is yet to come."

If only I had been right.


	4. Somehow at Seventeen

I was Seventeen when I last felt hope… I could not recognize it now if it were to return. 

We could not afford new black mourning gowns. As Prim and I sat in the front pew, I played with the black tassels on the shawl Madame Sae lent me to wrap around my grey dress. The priest continued to drone on and on about the continuation of life after death but I sat without listening to a word of it. I was creating lists in my mind. All sorts of lists: What we would need for our journey, how much money I could collect in the next few days from selling our things before the bills arrived, how much the combined coach fares for Prim and myself would be…

My Uncle and Aunt sat on the pew beside us. My uncle reeked of spirits while my Aunt sat primly with her hair coiffed above her head. 

“We wish the House of Everdeen comfort in their time of sorrow. Please rise as we sing The Mourner's Hymn.” 

It was only once I was standing did I realize I was numb. What would happen now? Peeta had been away at Oxford for almost three months. I missed him like the sun misses the flower in the dead of winter. I longed to have him comfort me, to lend me a shoulder to shed my tears. I had no one at the moment. 

When the ceremony concluded we accompanied the casket to the grave. The burial was slow, cold, and surreal. My aunt Effie wept openly. Her whimpers were very distracting. How could anyone cry and still manage such a squeaky octave? 

“You girls will come and live with us now. I won’t let my poor husband’s sister’s children live a life of ruin. We will create smart matches for you yet.” She pinched Prims cheek for good measure. It felt as though she gripped my chest. Would Aunt Effie truly take us in? There had been no mention of it on previous occasions. Of course, my mother had been alive and- “It’s settled then we shall leave for Newcastle on the morrow.” I was jolted from my feelings of hope to those of sorrow. 

“Newcastle?”

It was as far North as one went before they reached Scotland. Well, as far north as civilization went. How would I ever get word to Peeta? When would I ever see him? Oxford was still a day’s drive from our current home in Winchester. He would never be able to make the journey to Newcastle to see me. We still had close to eight months until his eighteenth birthday. We could not elope before then. We would have nowhere to live and we could not risk his mother disapproving of the match and contesting his birthright.   
“That is very generous, Aunt Effie. However, are you sure you would not be more comfortable having us remain here? We could-“ 

“Nonsense. As it is we were paying for you lot to remain here whilst your mother was ill but at this point it only seems logical to settle you in with us. You know I have never had daughters but, oh, how I have wanted to make a splendid match for the both of you! Ah! It’s settled! This has become a big day indeed, darlings.” 

I laid awake that night. This would be the last time I slept in my bed. This room had been mine since I was a child. The idea of never returning haunted me. I feared shutting my eyes for what the dawn would bring. A change that I neither wanted nor was confident would be for the better. Well, not better for myself. Primrose was another matter. Beautiful Primrose with her wheat flower hair and her aquamarine eyes was meant for fine dresses and splendid soirees. I was better suited to the country. The quiet peace of forests and farmlands suited my sensibilities far more than tight corsets and the hot metal tongs to curl ones hair. 

Were it possible, I would run tonight. If only Aunt Effie would be content to take Primrose and not myself. Peeta and I could marry. But I fear for the constitution of my sister. She was never meant to be alone. Mama’s passing was very difficult for her. She sleeps now but it was I who rocked her so. It was I who spent hours drying her tears. Perhaps Aunt Effie would be pleased with my match. Peeta, after all, was still a Lord, a son of a Duke, it was not as though I were planning to run off with the footman. Would she cast off Prim if her sister left her in scandal? It was not a chance I could take. 

A soft tapping appeared on my window. My heart leapt. Could it be? I ran to my sill. In the shadow stood a figure. He lightly threw pebbles. He took a step forward and his face came into the light for a moment. I bit my lip to hold in my cry of relief when I looked upon his face. I lifted my window as quietly as possible and made my way onto the roof. I had done so dozens of times in the past but tonight my nerves were making me clumsy in my haste. 

I kept my arms out to my sides to steady myself as I balanced upon the loose shingles. I cringed as a loose piece fell from the roof and crashed to the ground below. I remained still and waited for a light to ignite in the window of my Uncle’s bedroom. When all remained quiet I continued along my path and climbed down the ivy-covered trellis. When I was a stones throw from the ground, warm hands wrapped around my waist. I allowed Peeta to help me to the ground. He twirled my body and embraced me tightly. Wrapped in his arms in the shadows I felt as though I had taken my first breath of the day. As the tears began to flood my eyes he took my hand and ran with me towards the stables. We had long since let go our stable hand due to lack of funds and the barn had become the most private spot on the old estate. 

The moment we were returned to the safety of the shadows I threw myself against his chest. 

“I came as soon as I heard,” he said. I nodded against his shoulder. His fingers ran in soft motions upon my back and soothed my nerves. “We must go now. If we leave tonight we will have a full day's ride before they come for us.” 

“What-“ 

“We will go. Tonight. To Scotland. To elope.” 

“You wish to elope, now?” 

“I will not allow you to remain without protection.”

“But you are not yet of age. Where shall we live?” 

“I have some savings and I know that if I prevailed upon Marco he would assist us.” 

“The Duke would help us?” My eyes were skeptical though my heart held hope.

“He’s still my brother, Katniss. He loves me. Us.” 

“Does he know of us?” I asked hesitantly. 

“Not the full extent but he knows of our liaison, yes.” 

“But what of Prim? The scandal vould ruin her marriage prospects.” 

“Things would calm down before her season. Perhaps my brother would sponsor her.” 

“We cannot ask that of him.” 

“What has changed?” He held my face in his hands. 

“Tis my Aunt and Uncle. They wish to take Prim and I to Newcastle.” 

“Newcastle? By god, why not to Shanghai?” He had a small sad smile upon his face.

“Please do not jest.”

“And you wish to give Prim the opportunity to have a London season?” 

“I do.” I did. I could not doom my sister’s future by being selfish enough to go after my own heart's desires.

He let out a sigh of resignation. “Then we shall wait.” 

“How will we see each other?” 

“This is an obstacle, I will admit. But nothing will keep me apart from you. Not for long.”

“What do you mean?” 

“We have eight months. We shall write. I shall come to call during summer holiday. And then the moment I come of age I shall visit the family solicitor to receive the deed to the Mellark land promised to me. And I shall come for you.” He cupped my cheek.

“You make it seem so easy.” 

“Not easy, necessary. I will do whatever is necessary to be with you. I love you. You are as essential to me as my soul.” He kissed me then. I embraced him tightly and returned his kiss with equal fervor. Peeta was my forever and we would be together. 

“When must you return to school?” 

“Tonight. I must depart soon.” 

“You should not have come.” 

“I had to see you.” He kissed me again.

“I love you.” 

“As I love you,” he whispered upon my lips.

I slipped my hand into his coat. The hard, warm planes of his chest were beneath and I ran my hands over the solid muscle. The idea that we would not see each other again for so long made my soul ache. Peeta took in a sharp breath and brought his hands to my waist. His mouth came to my throat and he began to nuzzle and kiss my sensitive flesh. In the shadows of the abandoned barn, a spirit of bravery came over me. My hands ventured to the hem of my nightgown and I lifted the fabric above my head and placed it on the wooden half wall of the empty stall behind me. Peeta’s eyes swept over my body, hungrily taking in ever curve. I shivered in the cool night air. 

“I can help you with that.” Peeta stepped forward and pulled me into his arms warming my body with his heat. He took my lips with his as one hand reached beneath my breast and squeezed the flesh, soothing the ache that had begun to accumulate in me all the while growing the fire within my belly. Trembling with need, I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled the panels from his trousers. He startled slightly at the feel of my hands on his hips. I kissed his neck as I searched for the button beneath that would release him to my hold. His scent was tantalizing and I kissed farther down his skin wishing to commit the smell to memory. 

“I need to be one with you,” I said looking up to meet his eyes. 

“Anything you want. Anything, I will gladly give it to you.”

He plundered my mouth with his tongue the way I begged for him to do with the rest of his body. He broke the contact of our lips and began to journey down my body. He stopped at the sensitive pink tips of my breasts and allowed his breath to caress the pert nipple. I shuddered in his arms, but he held me still. His mouth fastened around the aureole and I crooned beneath his attentions. He broke free and continued to venture lower, kissing the smooth line of my abdomen and continuing until his face was centered between the swell of my hips. 

“You drive me mad. I want nothing more than to bury myself inside you and not emerge for weeks." I wish for that as well. He placed a kiss on my curls before looking into my eyes. “Since I will not be granted weeks, I shall ensure that tonight is magical enough to satiate my desires, until I can once again....” He moved his face lower and delved beneath the hood of my body to the sensitive bud beneath. He used his hands to spread my legs further apart and I obliged him, helpless to obey his demands. "...taste you." 

"Oh," I moaned. His tongue caressed my folds and when he quickened his movements, I cried out and grasped his hair for support. The waves of pleasure built higher and higher within me. I shook with the heady sensations and dug my fingers even tighter into his locks.   
“Please…Peeta..Please. So close.” 

The words left my mouth mixed in a quick line of gasps. His tongue journeyed further into my center as his fingers joined in to increase the pressure. His fingers traced the swollen folds of my cleft before parting me gently to gain better access to where I needed him most. My entire body throbbed as it balanced on the point of no return. Using the flat of his tongue Peeta pushed up against my throbbing clit and sent me spiraling over the edge of sanity and into ecstasy. I cried out as my body shook with the intensity of my release. He continued to place gentle kisses around the hood of my sex as I drifted slowly back down to earth. When I shifted my eyes to look at him a knowing smile played on his face. 

“You are absolutely beautiful. I could watch you like this for the rest of my life.” He said placing another sweet kiss upon my inner thigh. I shook my head. “No? Am I not permitted?” His eyes shown with the same adoration I knew was reflected in my gaze.

“I do not wish for you to watch.” He smiled and leaned his cheek against my body. 

“Than what do you wish for?” 

“I wish for your participation,” I said with a low whimper, as my body shook with aftershocks of the bliss he created. My hands grasped his and pulled him up to his full height. He put his hands on my cheeks and kissed me soundly. 

“I believe that is something I can provide.” Before I registered what he was about I was lifted up. I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist. With one arm securing me to his body and the other releasing himself, I was free to place kisses along his smooth skin. His fingers spread along my slit transferring the moisture from my body to his tip. The head of him pressed against my opening and he shifted his hold so that gravity would impel me deeper. We both moaned as we became one. The rough wood of the barn wall hit my back as Peeta propped me up against it for support. He thrust completely into me and I cried out in pleasure. His mouth contained my cries going forward as he repeated the process. His rhythm was strong and intense giving me pleasure both when he entered as well as withdrew. I would never get enough of him for as long as I lived. My walls tightened around him. Peeta let out a hiss between his lips and his forehead began to bead with sweat.   
“You are incredibly tight.” He groaned between kisses. His pace quickened and the extra friction now dedicated to my sensitive bud was enough to sprint me towards another release. His hands grasped my buttocks firmly pressing me even tighter against him. His shaft plundered my sex over and over until the tension of our contact pushed us both into an exquisite release. My walls pulsed around him as my orgasm coursed through me. We held tightly to each other long after we were both spent and exhausted. 

We dressed each other quietly. Neither of us wished to discuss our final moments together for what would feel an eternity. Even if Peeta were able to slip away during his summer holiday that was still much longer than we had ever been apart. 

“I...am frightened, Peeta.” He came to me and placed a kiss on my forehead before taking his time with another, longer one on my lips. He pulled away slightly before returning and kissing me once more for good measure. 

“I am only strong enough to pull away now knowing that soon we shall have forever.” I nodded even as I felt the tears pool in my eyes. He kissed the palm of my hand. He moved away slowly until our hands no longer touched. When he stood in the last light of the moon’s hallow he lifted his hand to his mouth and blew me a kiss goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear from you! Let me know what you think! What will happen next? Also remember to follow me on tumblr at lulubee1234 at tumblr dot com


	5. eighteen cracks throughout the heart

I was eighteen when he shattered my heart. I have yet to find all the pieces…

"I do not understand why he has not written." I said to Prim.

I had posted another letter to him. It has been over a year since I have last seen him. He has not written, nor visited. It was as though I had ceased to be the object of his affection. He should have come for me months ago. It has been five months, two weeks, and six days since his eighteenth birthday. I have tried to remain hopeful but often I cannot bare the loneliness. My tears soak my pillow late at night when I fear that he has abandoned me.

Primrose is the only thing that continues to bring me joy. I have sat through etiquette lesson after lesson until my fingers have bled from needlework and my head has been flatted from the constant weight of a heavy book.

"He loves you. Perhaps he is setting up the estate. That is it! He went to ready his home and found it in shambles. He is fixing it up before he comes to collect you." The optimism in her voice brought a balm to my wounded pride. I feel silly in my insecurity. I pray that this is a simple misunderstanding. I have thought of running to him but I cannot be certain as to where he is.

"Girls! Girls! I have a letter!" My back straightened as I dared to hope. Surely Aunt Effie would not have opened my mail. "It is from my cousin, Octavia, in the Capital! She has invited us to take up lodging at her home for the season!"

London. London is very close to Oxford. A smile began to form upon my lips as I dared to hope once again. "The maids will pack the trunks! We are to leave within a fortnight! Katniss! We will make a brilliant match for you yet!"

That is when my smile dropped. Would Peeta be able to court me openly at the age of eighteen? It was not common for a man to take a wife so young but perhaps some exceptions could be made for a love match… I tried not to think on the topic as I ran upstairs and began to ready my things. Soon, I would see Peeta, very soon indeed.

My heart was aflutter as I glanced around the ballroom. This was my first soiree and as a debutante. My Uncle was gracious enough to sponsor a debut ball for me. I thought the expense was ridiculous but the news of my arrival in London was simply to great an opportunity to miss spreading. Peeta surely would hear of it even in Oxford.

I was dressed in white for purity. I didn't think it prudent to alert Effie to my loss of innocence and so I was dressed from head to toe in white silk. White pearl pins had been stuck in my hair and a wide satin ribbon was tied around my waist. The bone in corset under my dress was dreadfully uncomfortable but I paid it no mind. All of London would be here tonight. I prayed that included Peeta.

A silver dance card was fastened to my wrist and a line of suitors began to fill in their names. My aunt clapped her hands giddily as each man took there turn to write in their name. Every blond head made my heart stop. A few moments later it would begin its steady rhythm again once my eyes had discerned that indeed that it was not my Peeta but simply some other blond headed gentleman.

I danced my first dance with a painted smile and tight shoulders. Each of my steps was executed perfectly. To the world I looked the epitome of youth, beauty, and happiness. It was only on the inside that my heart was tearing as I danced my first dance with someone other than Peeta.

At the end of my fourth dance I needed a break. My heart hurt from the weight of the disappointment on my chest. He should have made his presence known by now.

"I am simply parched." I stated.

"Perhaps I may be of service." A familiar voice said from behind me. I spun around quickly and my eyes rested upon none other then The Duke of Baker, Marco Mellark, Peeta's brother. He held a glass of champagne. A smile lit my face. It was not as wonderful as seeing Peeta but I adored Marco and surely he would know of Peeta's whereabouts.

"Marco!" I exclaimed. My eyes widened at my instant blunder and I dropped to a deep curtsy. "Forgive me, your Grace, I have forgotten myself."

Marco let out a large laugh. "Come now Katniss, we are but old friends. It is lovely to see you. You have blossomed into quite the beautiful woman."

I blushed. "Thank you most kindly, your Grace. It is wonderful to see a familiar face. As a matter of fact I had been hoping-"

"Your Grace! Thank you so so so much for gracing us with your presence this evening. Gracious." Aunt Effinia was beside herself with glee. A duke. His Grace. I do not believe she could have made the moment more uncomfortable. I hated to have to inform her that not only did Marco not have his sights set on her niece but that I had designs on an entirely different member of the Mellark Family.

"Thank you for the invitation, Lady Abernathy," he said smoothly.

"I see you have met my niece, is she not the most beautiful woman in all of London?"

Aunt Effinia's smile was so large that I could see my reflection upon her teeth.

"She is indeed. I can hardly compare her to the seedling who would chase my brother after church," he replied.

"You are familiar with each other?" Her voice raised an octave at the news. I do believe Aunt Effie was close to bursting.

"Indeed. Our families' country homes were in the same county."

"How fascinating." She was surely close to tears of joy.

"How is your family?" I asked. Peeta. How is Peeta? Please Marco, Please tell me.

"All is well. Mother is well. She is under the weather this evening but I believe happy to once again be in London for the season. Her nerves I am told." I nodded my head sympathetically even though I felt no such sympathy for that horrid cow. "Rhys is well. He has decided to join the clergy."

"The Clergy! Good Heavens! I was not aware Lord Rhys wished to join the cloth." Aunt Effie supplied.

"And…Lord Peter? How is he?" I asked quietly.

Marco's eyes were unreadable as he replied. "He is well. He is on the continent. He has gone to Rome."

"Rome?" I questioned.

"Yes, for University."

"He- He went to- He went-" I fumbled upon the words unable to process them.

"How splendid. The continent! I have always longed to go to the continent but alas the Earl has had no desire to take me-" As I understood Marco's words I turned a deaf ear to the conversation. Peeta had left me. He had left. With no word or note. He had changed his mind and abandoned me to suffer alone.

I do not recall the rest of the ball. I have no recollection of returning home to my room, nor of the following three weeks whilst I was ill. Aunt Effinia told callers that the excitement of my debut was too much for my delicate feminine constitution. Only Prim knew the truth, I was unable to bear the pain of my broken heart.


	6. Surviving Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually I don't post chapter so late but if you're anything like me you're waiting for updates every two minutes so I thought hey, why not? Anyone want to give me a rec as to what to read when I want some lovely mindless every lark with just a tiny bit of angst??

**_I will forever be grateful to my body for continuing to live without a functioning heart. For dying during my first season on the marriage mart was simply not an option._ **

It is unclear how I managed to survive that miserable summer. I sat through many a harsh sit down from Aunt Effie for my refusal to dance. At the balls and galas I chose to remain close to the Wallflowers, the group of unfortunate girls who were not popular choices. Some were far too shy, some to poor, some to plain. All born into families of varying honor, but not unlike myself, too poor to benefit from being a feme sole and would need to marry. They accepted me amongst their ranks and I had even found some unlikely friends. Lady Anne, with her intense cropping of ginger hair and crippling shyness to the point of stuttering amongst strangers, became my companion at the public affairs. We talked of many things. It began small, with a mention of the food or the weather. Then we progressed on and spoke of the gowns. As debutantes we were forced to wear only white, a symbol of our prized innocence to all. I snorted every time I was forced to dawn a snowy balloon of a dress. Each garment gently mocked me, as if the billows of fabric knew that I was no longer pure.  
“I must say, it could very well be worse,” Annie said one evening, at Lord Boggs’ Soiree.  
“What could be worse?”  
“It seems that Ms. Delilah Cartwright has taken a liking to light orange pastel satin,” Annie said, her eyes drifting over the expanse of white marble flooring where Ms. Cartwright had just entered. It was indeed a hideous ensemble in every regard. The style was not at all flattering to Ms. Cartwright’s plumper constitution and the light orange color battled for dominance with her natural pallor lending an orange glow to her skin.  
“Oh, darling, no not the punch.” I whispered my eyes widening as Delilah dashed toward the refreshments.  
“Did she learn nothing?” Annie whispered back.  
At the Heavensbee ball on the spring, Delilah quickly nursed a rather full glass of punch. Whether any spirits had been added was unclear. Perhaps it was simply Ms. Cartwright’s overly bubbly personality that caused what we refer to as ‘The Chuckle Debacle.”  
Ms. Cartwright in her efforts to be flirtatious with Viscount Gloss squealed a tad too hard and spilled the warm punch all down her dress. This would have been enough of a scandal if not for the fact that some of the beverage managed to land in Viscount Gloss’s eyes causing him to hunch over in pain and cry out, claiming that he had been blinded. The Viscount's mother, Lady Cashmere had always doted far too highly on her son and quickly rushed to his aid. Some of the punch must have puddled on the marble for Lady Cashmere slipped in her haste. She let out an unladylike shriek before skating twelve barleycorns and landing on her overly endowed bottom.

Most of the ladies in the ballroom brought their gloved hands to cover their open mouths, but Lady Anne only gripped my wrist so tightly at the time that I was forced to avert my attention from the scene to look at her. Tears of levity shined in her eyes, and I needed only look at her face before my own giggle bubbled to the surface. It was the first time I had laughed since I had lost my heart, among other things, to Peeta.

It seemed we were kindred spirits, Lady Anne and I, and ever since the debacle she has been my closest ally, my newest friend.  
“Oh goodness, we must hush. It seems she is coming this way.” A farce of a smile dawned upon my face that I’m sure looked rather unattractive.  
“Good Evening, Ms. Everdeen, Ms. Cresta.”  
“Evening Delilah, how was your holiday on the continent?” I asked. In an effort to escape the wagging tongues of the Ton, the Cartwright’s whisked their daughter to France to allow the rumors to calm before they returned Delly to the Marriage Mart.  
“Oh it was simply a dream! A dream, I tell you! Paris is stunning, and the parties! Oh, what fun it must be to be French. You should see some of the fashions! The most daring ensembles you have ever laid your eyes upon. One woman had some much flesh bared that I blushed simply from looking at her!” As I often did around Delly I weighed how much of her story was truth and how much was mere exaggeration.  
“And you will never believe who I ran into at the Ambassador’s Soiree.”  
“Who?”  
“The most beautiful Englishman I have ever laid my eyes upon I tell you. Lord Finnick, the Earl of Odai. His father just passed on, so he has inherited the title. Lord Marvel of Ellington, and Lord Peeta, the Duke of Baker’s youngest.” Every muscle seized at the mention of Peeta’s name. So he was in Paris. Paris. Without me, in the company of half naked women. Lovely. Simply lovely. I was going to be sick. “And that wasn’t even the most scandalous part.” Delly turned both ways to ensure that no chaperones were listening to her words. “They were ...drunk! All three of them! And making quite a ruckus. I had a marvelous time with them. Mother didn’t seem to mind, I actually believe she was hoping one of them might compromise me! I would surely be more than happy to land any of them as matches even with a scandal attached! And then- now you won’t believe this-” I was sure I had gone as pale as my gown I didn’t know if I could last another minute listening to Delilah’s story.  
“Oh, B-b-bother!” Lady Anne cried, louder than I had ever heard her say anything. “My laces have broken. K-K-Katniss, would you accompany me to the powder room? I-I-I require some a-a-assistance.” Unable to speak I gave her a shaky nod and turned to make sure Aunt Effie, my chaperone. She tilted her chin, granting me permission to take my leave, We walked as swiftly as propriety would allow toward the powder room making a sharp left out the French doors that led to the gardens. Lady Anne all but pushed me behind a wide Dorset column and into the shadows as I let out my first choking sob.

“Sh, Katniss, it’s all right.” Lady Anne said, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.  
I cried into my gloves, wholeheartedly embarrassed in my inability to control my emotions for a more appropriate time.  
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me.” I continued, furiously wiping away the tears from my eyes.  
“If it’s anything similar to what has come over me than there is nothing for you to explain.”  
Before I knew it, I told Lady Anne everything. Every detail, from the day I first met Peeta until the day he crushed my heart.  
“And just hearing Delly speak of him, knowing that she has seen him, it’s all too much to bear- I.”  
“I know.” Annie had said, giving me a watery smile of her own.  
“Do you?” I asked, suddenly I felt a wave of guilt wash over me, it seems Annie had been rather upset as well.  
“I do. Lord Finnick, he- I. I was much too young for him , but I could not resist him. I was only sixteen and he was one and twenty. He is my soulmate and yet-“ She smiled the saddest smile I had ever seen. “Do you not wonder how I can so easily calm my stutter?”  
My eyebrows drew together in confusion. “I assumed that you have grown more comfortable in my presence.”  
“That is true, but I have a confession I must make. I do not present with an impediment. It is but a ruse, to guarantee me a position as a Wallflower. I know Lord Finnick has likely tossed me aside but the idea of taking on anyone else’s name fills me with agony.”

“Anne, I must say that is the most ingenious ploy possibly ever conducted. I am only saddened that I had not thought of it first.”  
Lady Anne grinned. “Well you will simply have to find your own way to beat off suitors, we can’t both stutter and it would appear quiet odd if you simply developed one out of the blue.”  
I leaned my head against the column. "I had no idea what a fine pair we made.”  
“A fine sorry pair, you mean.” she corrected.  
“So what is to be done with us?” I asked her.  
“Perhaps we should devote our lives to distractions.”  
“Distractions?”  
“I don’t know about you but I have been vastly unhappy for far too long. What if we each committed to collecting diversions. We will supply each other with amusing tidbits and recount entertaining events to each other as a way to pass through this.”  
“When does that go on until?” I asked.  
“Why... until it doesn’t hurt quite so horribly.”

To pass the time, I took to walking. Far walks through the meadows and bluffs that lined my Uncles estate. It was the only way to escape the sheer torture of my continuing lessons and evade the far greater agony of Aunt Effie’s matchmaking. After an additional month with few prospects, Aunt Effie’s Cousin's hospitality had worn thin and it was time for us to return home. Annie and I promised to write and that every letter must contain an amusing thought.

Each week, I racked my mind for something that might bring a smile to Anne’s face. It was while I walked and thought of her that I fumbled most terribly and twisted my ankle.  
“Sweet Mother Mary and Joseph,” I cried under my breath, trying to control the pain. On unstable legs I limped out of the forest and toward the main lane. I walked quite a distance from my Uncle’s estate but perhaps one of the villagers or tenant farmers could lend me a ride in their carriage.

I hobbled onto the dirt path and turned for home, dragging my sorry ankle ever so slightly. A noise sounded in the distance almost like thunder, I thought nothing of it at first but then it grew stronger. I turned over my shoulder to see a horse cantering so swiftly toward me that I froze like a woodland creature. The rider seemed preoccupied and only noticed me at the last moment. He pulled back on his horse who was so startled by the gesture that he reared up on his hind legs and whinnied a sharp noise in protest. I fell backwards, startled out of my wits as I watched the massive creature stepping in place. I closed my eyes tight braced for the kick of death, but none came.

Shadows flitted in front of my face before darkening completely. I opened my eyes to find that the sun had been blocked by the torso of a rather tall gentleman.  
“My most sincerest apologies, Miss. My mind was caught elsewhere. Please, I must know, are you hurt?” The man said his brow pulled together in worry.  
“I- I’m quite, alright-“ I replied, taken aback by the handsome face before me.  
“Please, if I may offer some assistance,” He reached out his hand and offered it to me. I placed my hand gingerly into his, the hide of our gloves meeting in a warm embrace. He pulled me delicately to a standing position. I attempted to walk but winced sharply.  
“Blast, you are injured.” He said, turning to look at me fully.  
“Tis but my ankle. I injured it walking in the forest, not from the run in with your horse, I assure you.” I said, dusting the dirt from my skirts.  
“All the same I would like to offer some assistance. If I may, I would be honored to escort you home."  
“I do not know your name, sir.” I said, with a coyness I had not meant to portray. I was simply pointing out that it would not be proper for him to escort me home without a minimum of an introduction.  
“My apologies of course, I am Mr.- that is to say I am Baron Hawthorne.” The gentleman said with a slight bow.  
“You jest, sir. I have met the Baron and I can assure you that unless you have been in disguise for quite sometime you are not the Barron. Your elderly frame and mutton chops seem to have gone missing.”  
The man in front did not laugh as I had expected but rather a sad smile graced is face. “Yes, my late father was not well. I have only recently inherited the title, upon his passing. My haste was in returning home to greet my grieving mother.”  
My eyes widened as I took in the depth of my slight. “I am terribly sorry, sir. I did not know.”  
Baron Hawthorne waved away my concerns. “It is entirely understandable and I do not fault you. However, I am expected for dinner and as you are injured it would not be honorable to leave you unaccompanied. I must insist that as an apology you allow me to bring you home.”  
“Yes, very well. My apologies. We should be on our way.” I said, limping toward the horse.  
“If I am not too forward, you are Miss…?”  
“Everdeen. Miss Katniss Everdeen.”  
“But of course, Miss Everdeen, Lord Abernathy’s neice. I have had the pleasure of meeting your sister. He extended his hand. "Allow me to assist you onto Flavius.”  
“Flavius?”  
“Yes, Flavius, my steed,” he said, with a wide smile as though he knew the name to be ridiculous and thus enjoyed it all the more.  
“Of course.” I allowed Baron Hawthorne to lift me onto Flavius’s back before I felt his warm body swing behind me. I had gone riding with Peeta but had sat behind him on our rides. Somehow this seemed more intimate being surrounding by Baron Hawthorne’s taught frame. He made a sort of clicking noise with his lips and the horse was off again. I wasn’t expecting the momentum and was thrust slightly to the side. Baron Hawthorne’s arm came around my waist and pulled me closer against him securing me in the seat. I blushed and was thankful he was unable to see my face. It was the closest I had been to a man since Peeta. I put the thought from my mind and enjoyed the simple pleasure of the horse’s movements. I shut my eyes enjoying the pleasure of the sun on my face, the rocking of the horse’s gait, and warmth enveloping me.

I awoke with a start.  
“Did you have a restful slumber, princess?” The Baron asked me. “No, no don’t be embarrassed. You have had quite the day. I can not believe you walked so far from your uncle’s estate.”  
“I enjoy walking.” I said lamely.  
“Yes, well... I have returned you home,” he responded, as he dismounted behind me. His warm hands encircled my waist as he drew me off his horse. I expected him to release me but he continued to keep hold of my person.  
“Baron Hawthorne-“  
“Please, do call me Gale. I have spent half the afternoon with you in my arms. I think it’s only fair. Do you not?”  
“Very well, Sir Gale-“  
“Just Gale.”  
“Fine, Gale. I can walk from here. Thank you for your assistance.”  
“Oh no, Katniss. I will not be swayed. You are injured, and I will take full advantage of that fact so I may hold a beautiful woman in my arms for just a moment or two longer.” My cheeks turned red. He thought me beautiful.  
"I appreciate your kind words."  
"My words are more than kind. They are truthful."  
I leans against him, granting his request. When we arrived at the threshold to my Uncle’s home I was at last placed on my feet.  
“Thank you for your help.” I whispered.  
“I would like to call on you, Ms. Katniss.” Gale said, with a cheeky grin. He tipped hit hat to me as he walked backward toward his horse. “I will see you soon!”  
I rolled my eyes at his antics and fought off a grin. I lifted my hand in a wave. Nothing more will come of this interaction, I am certain. But at least I would have an entertaining story to write to Anne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments + Kudos = LOVE


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Huge Huge thanks to my beta lbug84, if you guys like fun, fast smutty stories she is your girl! Shout out also to mockingjayflyingfree,who has some fabulous tics for you to check out. I will be going back into my rabbit whole while I work on my next novel but will be popping out from time to time to bring you some short fun tics so be sure to follow me both here and on tumblr, at lulubee1234 dot tumblr dot com. I hope you all enjoy the finale! If there is an epilogue it will be coming as part of a charity series but will not be a part of this fic. I think you'll manage though ;)
> 
> Happy reading!

It took years for the memories to fade to a point where I was not constantly withdrawn and disinterested in life. He had left me.

My suitors had passed on to other women, those who would not spurn their advances. I was alone. I preferred it that way. Having experienced true love, I would not dare to willingly enter it again, nor spend a life in a marriage where there was no possibility for it to arise. So I formed my own path, a path I was able to be content with. A life that was peaceful and ritualistic in it's routine.

The ballroom was awash in gold and silver. Bright colored gowns twirled around and around the marble floors. Their faces were perfectly powdered with just a hint of rouge. Above them, crystal chandeliers sparkled from the glow of hundreds of candles. The beeswax alone was a small fortune. I stood by and watched as suitor after suitor came to fill Prim's dance card. She looked lovely tonight, in a robin's egg blue gown with a dark blue ribbon. We had done her hair up in curls and weaved a matching ribbon into the blonde locks. Nights like tonight, seeing her this happy, made all the sacrifices worth it.

"No more than three dances, Mr. Hawthorne. We wouldn't want the gossips to descend," I said as Rory winked at me as he finished writing his name on Prim's card yet again. Poor Rory Hawthorne. He was so clearly in love with Primrose, but he was a second son in a less than wealthy family. He would inherit no title nor would he receive an inheritance. Without either he could never provide enough to be a suitable husband for dear Prim. Aunt Effinia would never approve.

"We would not want that." Rory daringly placed a kiss upon the back of Prim's hand. Prim, bless her, seemed to be unable to stop her girlish giggle.

"Ms. Everdeen, why do you not have a dance card upon your wrist?" Sir Gale, Baron Hawthorne said as he walked over. Gale. He had truly come into his own. Since I had met Gale after what we dubbed the stallion incident, we had spent plenty of time in each others company. He teased me mirthlessly, but he was a handsome distraction from my aching heart. We developed an easy, if not unlikely, friendship. Most of my summer days were spent hunting with him in the forrest or challenging each other to archery competitions. Many assumed we would wed, but when it was revealed that the Hawthorne's funds had been eradicated by the late Baron's gambling debts, Gale chose to provide for his family. A titled gentleman such as Gale would never stoop into something as low as a profession. The only option for a gentleman in Gale's position was to arrange a wise marriage for himself. The trend as of late were for wealthy members of the flash gentry, the untitled families who ran in the upper echelons of society, to arrange marriages for their daughters to titled gentlemen such as Gale. Indeed, his fiancé, Ms. Magdalena Undersee, is the heiress to a large shipping fortune. She possesses a dowry so large that it shall be able to provide for the Hawthorne lineage for years to come.

"Sir Hawthorne, you jest. I am well aware that a dance card would be rather useless around my wrist. It would simply sit empty the entire night."

I was the acting chaperone for Primrose. At the ripe age of two and twenty, with four failed seasons behind me, my Aunt and Uncle agreed that I was too firmly on the shelf to be destined for any title other than spinster.

"Sir Hawthorne, now is it? Tell me Ms. Everdeen, at what age did I cease to be Gale and simply become Sir Hawthorne?"

"It was likely around the time that they pulled you from the forests and stuck you in a carriage headed for parliament."

"Come now, sly cat, we are both well aware that as I continued to best you at sport it was surely my Christian name that escaped your lips in exasperation."

Gale alluded to the simple kisses we had once shared. Experiments, if you will. It was out of desperation that I sought to belong to another and it was also out of said exasperation that I realized I could not. My Uncle's ancestral home and Gale's were located in the same county. My uncle had been close friends with the late Baron and he remained close to the family until this day.

"Sir Hawthorne, please desist with your teasing. You are wasting your boisterous words on knowing ears. For it was I who always bested you." I pointed my fan at him like an old biddy would her cane.

"You wound me, Ms. Everdeen, truly. You dare to distort history in front of the entire ton. You are throwing my superb masculine abilities into question in the presence of my betrothed."

Sir Gale cast an admiring glance at Ms. Undersee who dutifully blushed under his attentions. I fought to keep my eyes from rolling towards the heavens. I moved to reply only to have my words lost among the whispers of the crowd. It seemed someone of importance had arrived. Delilah Cartwright and Magdalene Undersee whispered furiously behind their fans.

"What is all the commotion about?" I asked.

"The Duke of Baker has just arrived back from his tour of the Continent." Dellilah squealed, her fan batting franticly beside her face. My breath caught.

"Has Rhys arrived?" Gale asked. I was instantly bewildered. The entire population knew that it was Marco who was the Duke of Baker. Gale was standing beside me and looked rather bored.

"You are acquainted with Lord Rhys?" Magdalene asked him. Her voice whispered his name with a hint of reverence one would reserve for the saints.

"We were in Oxford together. Such a tragedy regarding his brother."

My eyes widened. "What happened to his brother?" Fear washed over me as I bit my lip.

"Have you not heard?" Delilah Cartwright whispered.

"Heard what?"

"His Grace, Lord Marco passed away in a carriage accident. It was rumored that he was racing."

"Marco has passed?" Guilt washed over me as my chest took a breath of relief. I had truly liked Marco, he had been a friendly face when I needed one even if his face always drew up painful memories.

"So now the title has passed to Lord Rhys?"

"That's the scandal." Madge said, grabbing my arm.

"Lord Rhys renounced his title to continue on with the church. The title has moved to the youngest brother, to Lord Peter." Delilah told me.

Peter? My Peter? Peeta is now the Duke? I can hardly believe it. Gale's eyes were wide. And he was… present?

"What would possess Lord Rhys to give up the title?"

"His wish to join the clergy." Magdalene replied. "What do you think of the entire ordeal, Katniss?"

"I am without words," I said. "Please, excuse me."

"Katniss?" Prim questioned.

"I shall return in a moment. It seems my dress has torn slightly at the seam. I shall have it put to rights and be back before you realize."

"Very well." She gave me a knowing look. There was no fooling my younger sister.

I rushed off toward the balcony. My skin was heated and there was no doubt that my cheeks were flushed. I hadn't seen Peeta in years. Ever since I moved to my Aunt and Uncle's home. Would he remember me? Look what has become of us. He has risen to the title of Duke while I have rotted to a spinster.

I closed my eyes briefly and could see Peeta in my mind's eye. He had come to beg me to run with him. My mother had just passed and he did not wish for me to be alone. It was only meant to be a short period of separation. Upon his eighteenth birthday he was meant to come for me. But he never did.

A man of Peter's station, even as the third son of a duke, was far greater than my title as the impoverished eldest daughter of a deceased viscount could ever be. Had things been different, had my father still lived and my mother not trusted the wrong investors with our inheritance, we might be married. I would have run with him that night but at the age of Seventeen, I could hardly leave my sister after the death of my mother. And the scandal of it all, Prim would never have found a good match of her own. I could never harm Primrose's future even if it meant following my own heart. So in turn, he broke mine. I did not seize my opportunity for true love and so he left without a word and never returned for me. Now after all of this time he has returned to England. Not as my Peeta, but as The Duke. He has returned to London to claim a birthright he had never wished for.

The sharp edges of a shattered piece of my heart stabbed at my chest. I thought that time had blunted their edges but his presence was enough to bring old memories flooding back to injure me. I held in tears as I debated the most logical excuse to leave the soiree early. Perhaps a headache or a twisted ankle would be enough. Aunt Effie would not mind. Just as I committed to a realistic excuse to make my escape I heard the French doors to the balcony open. At first I paid it no mind. I assumed it to be a young couple out to steal a kiss or perhaps a tryst in the gardens below. But the loud footsteps of a single gentleman gave me pause. I turned to see if perhaps Sir Gale had been sent by Prim to retrieve me. When I met the eyes of the man in front of me I froze. It was as though every bone in my body began a mutiny against my heart.

As my eyes gazed upon the soft blues of his irises my heart began to crash inside of my chest. It begged to escape and join its other half. My legs and arms thankfully held me in place and allowed my head to take immediate control of the situation.

I knelt into a deep curtsy and bowed my head. "Your Grace."

"Ms. Everdeen," he replied. In that moment when he said my name, was the only time I ever regretted not marrying. How I wished a Lady Brutus or a Duchess Gloss would grace his lips. Let him understand even if just for a moment my pain.

His voice had grown deeper during our time apart. His once pale skin was lightly tanned from a man used to the sun. A smattering of freckles dusted the bridge of his nose. His blond locks were much longer then I remembered and his once easy going and care free eyes held a sadness that had not been there in the past.

"The years have clearly done you well. You are more beautiful than ever," he said quietly.

His words were too much for my fragile sanity. The shock his presence had administered to my system was enough to send me to bed for a week and insult to injury he was telling me how beautiful I was? As though no time had passed and we were still the same children we once were?

"Please excuse me." I began to move towards the ballroom. He had the audacity to step in front of my path. He grabbed my hand to stop me from going around him.

"Katniss, please. I came as soon as I was able."

"You are causing a scene, your Grace. Did you wish to tear my reputation to shreds within minutes of your arrival?"

"Blast it all, Katniss, I-" He looked behind him at the French doors that led back into the ballroom. He cursed silently and took me by the hand towards the shadows of a near by column. "Did you not hear me? I came as quickly as I was able."

"It brings me such joy to hear that you have managed to tear yourself away from your adventures on the continent with such haste. Tell me, did you make it in time for the funeral or simply to be announced as the Duke at the largest event of the season?"

"That is cruel. You know me better than that."

"Do I? I don't believe I have ever known you, your Grace. I once knew of a girl who knew a boy who went by the name of Peeta and perhaps she knew him. But that girl has gone and the boy has not been heard from in years."

"Where is the girl?"

"She died from the pain and embarrassment of a broken heart, well on three years ago, I believe."

I watched as his expression softened. "If you would just allow me to explain-"

"But of course, your Grace. Take all the time you need, a half a decade, if you'd like." The tears began to well up. It was too much. Far too much. I spent years convincing myself that I had been naïve, I had fallen into the trap of seduction. And now he wished to explain?

I ran. I could not hear his excuses. I could not bare the pain of reopening a chapter in my life that had brought me so much happiness and even more sorrow. I did not dare look back. For if I did I feared I would return to him. Even now after all of these years I knew that if I turned I would return to him. The feelings had not died but lied in wait and he had returned. And now I was lost. And dammit all I did not spend my years feeling miserable just to become the mistress of my childhood lover.

"Katniss!" He shouted as I made my way down the steps and into the garden. I continued to run and run until I had reached the back gate. I would continue to run until I made it home if necessity dictated.

"Stop! By god woman, will you desist?" He caught me and grabbed me by my shoulders. I heard the cry escape my lips and felt the need to melt into a puddle of embarrassment on the spot. After all of these years the last thing this man deserved were my tears.

"Katniss. My love, please stop crying, please. I am so sorry, Darling. I am so, so sorry." He placed kisses upon my hairline and held me tightly against his chest. He smelled of cinnamon and the distinct scent I could only attribute to Peeta, the smell brought back a rush of warmth and memories, of lantern light and moonlit flesh, of stolen kisses and false promises. I pushed him away.

"I do not wish to hear your apologies. You turned me into a fool and I have had to live with the shame of it alone all of these years. You wish to apologize?"

"Katniss-"

"There were times I had thought you had died. Do you understand what that feels like? And to only find out that you are alive and well and mocking my existence from Italy?"

"Katniss, I tried-"

"Tried how? From all of the letters you sent? From the times you made it to my window in Newcastle?"

He had tears in his eyes. "I wrote to you every day for years!" he shouted. This gave me pause. I had not received any letters. "I wrote Katniss. I wrote and I planned and I counted the days. I swear I did. But my mother discovered our liaison and paid the post master to deliver the letters to her desk. When I confronted her she threatened to ruin you. To ruin Prim. I was sent away on house arrest to Italy. I have only been able to return now that the Dukedom has passed to me."

My breath was harsh and labored as I listened to his words. Could he be speaking the truth? It was more than I dared hope.

"These years apart have been torture, my love, but I waited. I worried you would move on, that you would lose faith in me. Please tell me I am not too late. Please tell me that you have not married. That there might be even the slightest chance that I can still win back your affections."

His words caused me to cry harder. My legs were not strong enough to support the weight of his words and I began to fall to the graveled floor. Peeta's arms wrapped around me and kept my body from hitting the ground. He tightened his arms around my waist and crushed me to his chest.

"I have traveled day and night for a month in my haste to get to you. Shh, Darling. Do not cry. I did not mean to give you a shock."

"I am- I- was heartbroken. I thought you had cast me aside."

"I would never cast you aside. You are my other half."

"I love you so much." I said through my tears. His lips broke into the most glorious smile I had ever seen. He leaned in and kissed me soundly capturing both my lips and my heart back with that one kiss.

"Marry me?" His hand cupped my cheek as our eyes bore into each other. "Marry me, my beautiful love. Make me the happiest man on the face of this Earth." His fingers caressed my cheeks as my heart swelled with a joy I never expected to feel again.

"Yes. A thousand times yes." I said my smile threatening to take over my entire face. It must have been contagious for Peeta wore a matching expression. He kissed me again. And again. And again.

"We should find your Uncle." I stiffened.

"Peeta-"

"Oh no, you are going to tell me that I am too late. Please-" I put my fingers to his lips to silence him. I replaced my fingers with my lips and kissed him long enough that he was quiet when I pulled away.

"Peeta, You are a duke. I am but an impoverished-"

"I don't care. You are you, and you still love me. That is all I care about. The gossips be damned. I am not living another moment without you. We can do whatever you like. We can leave for Scotland to the elope this very moment."

"This very moment?"

"My coach is waiting outside. I came only in search of you." His eyes did not leave mine although his hands caressed my body. It was as though he was confirming that I was truly here.

"How did you know where I was?"

"Marco has been writing to me. He would tell me of your situation. He was not strong enough to override my mother's wishes but he assisted me where possible."

"Meaning?"

"He ...cautioned your would be suitors and bribed your Uncle to allow you to make your own decision. I believe your uncle assumed that Marco was hoping to make you his mistress, truth be told."

"Unbelievable. And you knew to find me here?"

"Your Aunt Effie went into a fit of hysterics when I asked after you. She fainted. Prim luckily was able to alert me to where you had gone."

"You saw Prim?" I was still being held snuggly in his lap and I burrowed closer to him.

"I did. She has truly blossomed into a beautiful young lady. She threatened to do me bodily harm should I hurt you."

This drew an unexpected laugh from me. "No, she did not."

"Oh I assure you she did. She also offered her blessing when I told her my intentions were only honorable," he said. I smiled at him, still completely in awe of the night's events. "So what will it be? Shall I whisk you off or do you wish to remain and let the biddies have their gossip?"

"Take me far away."

"As you wish, my love. As you wish."

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear what you thought! Send a comment if you can! Also i'm on tumblr! Check me out, lulubee1234 at tumbler dot com.t


End file.
